How many times are we in a relationship where we're having a good time, but on the other hand we're fighting for it to hold on to it tooth and nail, and ultimately we come to the conclusion that we want a break from our relationship?
Especially when we are in the phase where we are still at the beginning of the relationship, in the midst of love and romance where we are emotionally attached to the other person, at some point this deflates and we feel the need to withdraw and be alone for a while due to pressure and because we are giving it our all.
But when is a break a bad idea?
If you remember from the series "Friends" Ross was fighting with Rachel about that break they had taken in their relationship.
Very often couples make the wrong decisions & ask to take a break from their relationship for the wrong reasons.
Then they use it as revenge or to leave the relationship because they are angry, and that is bad, because that is not how a relationship is saved.
Perhaps one of the two does not have the courage to end this relationship and so asks for a break to somehow escape from it.
But when is a break needed?
When there are children in the middle and because they are tired of fighting for this relationship, they seek a break to clarify what they want from the other person.
It is also hard for children to see their parents constantly fighting, creating an unstable and stressful environment for both them and their children.
Do you really want to try the break? Then keep the following in mind:
- Set boundaries. : And I'll give you the example again from the series \"Friends\" where they had crossed the line & every time there were nerves they said \"We were on a break\". There's no need to hit each other when that break is over.
- See what you want from this break: Do you want to distance yourself from each other for a while? Do you want to work on your relationship together but have distanced yourself? However, if you continue to not be on the same wavelength and understanding, then a break and perhaps separation are the right solutions for you.
- Contact: You need to think about whether you will have contact, often when we take a break we want to take our time, so you don't have to talk every day, you can talk once in a while, so that you don't feel pressured and give each other time and space.
- Don't make your break known to everyone: Everyone doesn't need to know your personal situation, so don't announce it on social media.
- Break duration: You need to think about how long this will take, so that you can meet again and talk about your relationship. If this takes too long then you need to talk about breaking up, because you can't wait for each other forever.
During the break, look at things more calmly. If you have no intention of getting back with your partner, make sure to be clear from the beginning and don't give him hope that you will get back together, because that is very bad.
*Photo is from Pablo by Buffer*